Once every few years, a company fucks up so completely, so thoroughly, that I use the word “Fuck” in public. Such is the case of Mojo Marketplace.
Who is Mojo Marketplace?
It used to be a third rate reseller of deep discount WordPress, Joomla and Magento themes, but I guess the 10 themes for $30 deal is working because they’ve recently bought out SimpleScripts, a fantastic SaaS utility that installed packages like WordPress, Magento, Joomla and tons of other open source distributions on what used to be my favourite web host: Bluehost.com.
Like a brick to the face, from one day to the next, Mojo’s “Single Click Installs” replaced “SimpleScripts”, and since then NOT ONE INSTALLATION HAS FUNCTIONED.
Not vTiger, not WordPress, not Feng, not even simple crappy PHP chat software. This company can’t do anything right.
It’s not so much that Mojo Marketplace has replaced SimpleScripts. It’s more like “SimpleScripts is discontinued. Would you like to buy a discount template for a program you’ll have to install yourself?”
Now Bluehost is every bit the victim here too, as they got the rug pulled out from under them when SimpleScripts were bought out, but the whole reason I went with them was how easy it was to turn around a new website for a customer. SimpleScripts, integrated with the Bluehost Cpanel, was helping me turn out a new website a month, and saving me hours of installation and verification of setting up the plain packages by hand. If I’m going to have to install all this stuff manually, I may as well move all hosting back onto my own servers in-house. At least that way I’ll get better performance, if not better bandwidth than what I’m seeing now.
A Bluehost technician confided in me saying “I also miss the other simple scripts system. Yes this is the new standard, where most programing things don’t always function the way the programmer intended it to due to unforeseen circumstances.”
I guess he means the scripts don’t manage unexpected circumstances… like a non-empty .htaccess file.
I think that may be a clue. It turns out the the accounts that have been active the longest are the ones that have problems. New accounts seem to work better, for whatever reason. Perhaps it’s that the installers assume an empty system, or can’t handle non-null values for certain options or files. SimpleScripts never had this problem.
It’s all been very frustrating. Right now I’d put Bluehost, Simple Scripts and Mojo in a bag, close it up and hit them with a stick, and I wouldn’t even care which of them got the worst of it.
I don’t know what the fuck these people were thinking…
P.S. In the mood for a laugh at our collective expense? Check out my Mojo Marketplace Diary of Fail.
UPDATE 2013-07-09: I managed to install one thing through Mojo!!! I feel giddy. More details on the Diary of Fail.
UPDATE 2013-07-10: JR from Mojo corrected a few things and let me in on a couple of bits of information:
I was very happy to hear from Mojo, and to find out they’re listening. I’ll keep updating this post as more information becomes available.
UPDATE 2013-07-11: Heads up, guys! If you’re trying to install software through Mojo, DO NOT USE SPECIAL CHARACTERS. Some characters either end up stripped, or the whole password is emptied… I don’t know which, but whatever error-checking is being done by the installer, the input field isn’t validating in the same way. I have successfully installed scripts that originally failed by using simple passwords initially, then later changing to a stronger password, after the installer completes.
UPDATE 2013-09-10: Well, two months later since JR from Mojo contacted me to tell me that they will spare no effort to make this work and STILL NOTHING FUCKING WORKS. So I’m calling you out, JR. You are full of it. All installations at this point are manual, and all updates have to be done from within the software itself. Fortunately WordPress has internal update functionality. AS OF NOW, THERE IS NO REASON TO GO WITH BLUEHOST or any other host using Mojo installers. From dismal performance to excruciatingly painful site management and, lest we forget ENTIRE DAYS OF OUTAGE, it just has nothing to recommend it but price. Savings only go so far when YOUR SITE DIES, so folks… steer clear.
If you have suggestions for alternatives, please comment of PM me your suggestions, particularly if they have a decent installer that works.
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